Go, Pursue, Discover, Learn, Share.

I was born to the name Johanna, middle name Maze. I have always gone by Hanna. I think perhaps it suits me better. However, the verdict is still out. I grew up in little old Rhode Island. I have always found Rhode Island a great fit and never felt the sudden urge to leave. So it is here, in this little ocean state that I have called home for the last twenty five years. Although, after giving this statement a second more of consideration, I wonder if it wasn’t that I never felt the urge to leave but rather was more of the fact that change has always been a scary thought for me. I have always been really, really good at staying in things that are comfortable even if they are no longer working. At any rate, at this point in my journey this is where I stand.

I wake everyday with an overwhelming need for something more. Now this is not to say that I am not happy it’s rather more of a feeling that is waiting patiently somewhere in the background.

I should have started by explaining that I’ve always been a complex human being, perhaps, even difficult. I have often found in my life that when most people get this feeling they attempt to use some temporary distraction to try to fill this void, but nothing materialistic is going to fill this. If it had hell it would have been filled a long time ago. In saying this I mean that I’ve gone down that road before and it still leaves this overwhelming longing for something more. (I promise the message I am trying to get across is a positive one but I can’t do so without adding the next few sentences, bear with me through the negativity.)

What it ultimately comes down to is that I am sick of routines, of doing the same thing day in and day out. I am sick of working hard with little to no reward. I am sick of the pattern of feelings that are forever constantly circling around in my head. I am sick of the same scenery; the same negative people that crowd the streets of this town. It feels as though every time I try to walk away from them I find myself surrounded by three more. Granted, I am fully capable of understanding that I am solely responsible for the people I have chosen to surround myself with. There are many things in this place, in this state, in this town, on this street, that I am completely head over heels in love with, but I must rely on faith that they will be there when this need is filled, when this journey is over.

With that being said, the need I feel is to get out, to spread my wings, to venture to new heights, to stumble upon new experiences, to discover new places, new cultures, and a new meaning to life. I think about all the life out there that I am so ignorant too. What it ultimately comes down to is that,

I wish to travel. I wish to explore. I wish to learn.

I long for culture, for education, for experience but most of all, I wish to restore my faith in humanity. My faith in myself. I long for life and all the wonder and beauty it holds.

With this being said, I have decided to quote Nike on this one and “just do it.” I will pack my bags in August and set out on a journey through Tibet & India and wherever else my journey leads me to. I wake now and just thinking about it, brings a new, restored passion to my soul. I will document every step of my journey through my photography, art and writing. I have no set plans, no set destinations, just a backpack, myself, a glass half empty and whole lot of hope.

I am going to spend the next few months leading up to my trip making a list of things I hope to do. The first item on the list is to spend a week or two among Buddhist monks, I have always such a passion when it comes to Buddhism and all its beautiful teachings and have been a student for five years now. But I suppose that is a topic for another post, on another day.

I wrote the following quote a long time ago and now it’s time to follow it.

“You must always purse your passion wherever it happens to take you. You must always follow it with a peaceful mind, an open heart, and a whole lot of faith. When you do you’ll find yourself suddenly aligned with the universe, it is in this space that people are capable of the most beautiful miracles. So ask yourself this, what is stopping you from following your passion? What is stopping you from creating your very own miracle?”

I also should mention here that I wouldn’t have the freedom to do any of this without some of the best people in the world. I owe this whole idea to my loving father and mother, for they are the ones who planted this idea as a seed in my head and also to Kayla & Jon for always being there to support me in all the loving ways that they do. If anyone has any travel tips be sure to let me know! As always, thanks for reading!

-Johanna M. Dunn

Fearlessness

“Fearlessness takes a hold of me as I climb onto your back. For I know you will take care of me as I have always promised to take care of you. Together were unstoppable, invincible even. You carry me effortlessly, I love that about you. For no place feels more at home then on top of you back. For that is when I realize I am no longer on top of your back but rather on top of the world. The excitement you bring me makes me feel as though I am a little kid again. For with every step, you magically put my mind at ease. You are so gentle and yet so incredibly strong. You communicate through your ears, yet it is your eyes that truly speak to me. For that ride however long it may be, nothing in the whole world could go wrong. For it is only then I realize you don’t belong to me;
For, I have always belonged to you”

-Johanna M. Dunn

A Night’s Dream

“A Night’s Dream”

There are times much like tonight that the quietness of the night invites me into its deep undisturbed serenity.  It evokes in me a certain degree of peacefulness that can only be felt at times when the whole world is sleeping calmly, undisturbed. (Although I know this is not true I like to imagine it being so.) It feels as though the only three things awake in the whole universe are myself, the moon and the stars.

I close my eyes and take a deep, long breath; and in the process of doing so I realize I can hear the boats down by the sea, swaying softly on their salty, uncharted waters. It fascinates me that I didn’t hear them at first.  That is when I come to the realization that perhaps it is not just myself, the moon and the stars after all, that I didn’t consider the millions of fish very much awake and swimming in their nights deep-sea.  I giggle to myself as I visualize their hidden, secret world and giggle further still when I find myself wishing to be able to watch the very spectacle of it all.

I imagine myself perched on a swaying boat, moving freely side to side with the ever-changing oceans tides.  I picture it rocking me slowly to sleep, with the stars twinkling high above my head and the moon, as it always has, lighting my way. I give into temptation and drift softly, sweetly and silently into the nights embrace and quickly yet quietly drift into the most wonderful night’s sleep, full of beautiful dreams of the most stunning, exotic fishing swimming all around me, delicately blanketing me as they allow me to explore every aspect of their world. They allow me to swim side by side with them as if I am a part of their pack.

I graciously smile at them as I find my heart suddenly over filled with joy. Yet, realizing they do not understand this gesture, I find myself giggling once again. I see everything there is to see in this underwater world, in MY underwater world, from minnows to dolphins, from starfish to sea horses… the beauty of the sea surrounds my every move and I feel light, elated, at peace. I am not scared when I see the larger portions their world has to offer because so far this underwater world has been nothing but gentle to me.

They move with such freedom, such dignity and determination.  I am so consumed with every aspect of their world that I find myself moving with this same freedom. It is right when I find myself wishing to be a part of this world, I realize it is time to say goodbye.  It is also right then that I hear a voice; I recognize this voice, for I have heard it many times before, on many different occasions. It is my conscience speaking to me; it is telling me that I can and should take this lesson home with me that I too can make this peace an essential quality in my own life, that it is not too late to move with this same freedom, dignity and determination that was displayed before me tonight.

I nod my head in understanding and slip slowly back into reality. When I wake I find myself smiling. I find a renewed sense of peace all around me. I vow to take these lessons with me wherever I journey and promise to remember when feeling lost to always remember the very lessons I learned that very night the whole world was lost in their peaceful sleep.

That very night my three friends the moon, the stars and sea in fact became a part of me.

-Johanna M. Dunn

5/5/2010