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Beautifully Broken
When I find myself irritable, discontent, even angry I know it is because I am not willing to accept either myself or the current situation. I am forgetting my faith, that my higher power will take me through exactly what I need to go through in order to learn the lessons I need to learn. I can so easily get caught up in the overwhelming feelings of self-pity, of fear, and wonder, asking myself why things happen the way they do. I can focus on the pain and let it consume me if I choose, but today, I know that it is a choice, my own personal choice. Instead of hitting bottom and simply staying there, I have the choice of focusing instead on the lessons I need to learn.
Today I believe that every rock bottom is just a chance, a chance to do better next time, to take a step back and re-assess the things that are working in my life and the things that aren’t.
When another person causes me pain, I can choose to hold on to it or simply let it go. I have the choice to understand that they, just as I am, are far from being perfect. I can choose to understand that part of being human is striving for perfection while understanding that true perfection can never actually be attained, can never actually be reached. I can choose to forgive someone who has hurt me, not because they deserve it, but simply because I don’t deserve to hold onto it any longer. I can let go of it for the simple realization that holding onto the anger hurts only one person, myself.
I can be thankful in my heart for not just the moments filled with happiness and love, but also for the times of pain and doubt. In a way I have become more thankful for the times I find myself in pain and doubt because it is in these very moments that I have a chance to stop and take a look at my own defects. I have the chance to practice both compassion and self-acceptance on a very deep, personal level.
Today in this moment, no matter how broken I may feel,
I know that I am just as beautifully broken as the rest of the world.
-Johanna Dunn
